Thursday, September 21, 2006


I'm ovulating.

This is a problem.

My cycle, which has been like a frigging metronome for months, has just decided to mix things up a bit. Of course.

Hmm, y'all probably need some back story.

I've tried to stay fairly cryptic about our plans until now, because we hadn't discussed disclosure with our donor. However, we've hashed that out (along with about a hundred other details) and we now know that none of us are too worried about keeping our identities confidential. So... it's M's brother, KD. Some of you may have suspected this, as I know M and I have been open in the past about our desire to use one of her brothers as a donor someday. I've learned over the past few months that translating our "someday" dreams into present day action involves more research, soul-searching, dialoguing, and humility than I ever imagined. Asking KD to be our donor was difficult, but I am SO glad we did it. He and his wife have been nothing but open and wonderful so far, and they are making this process as easy and empowering to us as humanly possible.

So, we were thinking of starting this month, but September has been a complete roller-coaster thus far, so we put it off until October. Good thing, too, because in addition to my dental fiasco of the week, I am also now ovulating 2 days early. This means that, had we scheduled travel to KD on this cycle, we would have missed the window of opportunity altogether. I guess avoiding this pitfall is the silver lining for waiting a month, cause flights are not cheap.

The problem is that me ovulating early has introduced the first shadow of doubt into what I thought was going to be the easiest part of the process - the timing. I am not kidding when I say you could set a clock by my cycles. I must have jinxed myself by counting on that. It is VERY weird that things are off by as large a margin as 2 days. Here I am cruising along thinking we are safe to book flights for our trip in October whenever we see good fares. Now, it looks like we need to wait until the last minute to see where I'm at. Also, if this messes up my whole cycle (so that my period comes 2 days early now), that throws our dates for October - which are presently conveniently situated Fri-Mon - into the middle of a week, making it difficult, if not impossible, for M to go out with me for the inseminations. Blah. I'm hoping the stress of the last week or so has just gotten things off kilter and my body will right itself before the end of this cycle. I wonder how many yoga classes I can squeeze in this weekend... ;-)

I shouldn't end on a down note, even if it's just venting, because overall, I am SO FREAKING EXCITED about where we are in this process. I can't believe we're finally ready to take action after planning for so long. I know that in the end, things will work out as they are meant to. It's fun to see M getting excited about it. Of course we're both freaked out, too - parenting is the greatest challenge we'll ever embark upon mentally, emotionally, physically, and financially - but we're mostly excited, and it's a really fun thing to be excited about together.

So, I'll keep y'all posted. Cross your fingers that everything stays on track and we have good news to share before the holidays!