My OB appointment on Monday got off to a rough start. First, I was informed upon arrival that I would be having my one-hour glucose screen. Surprise! Unfortunately, I'd scarfed down a piece of leftover shower cake immediately before leaving my house. I asked if having eaten cake half an hour earlier would skew the results and the nurse confirmed that it would, so no glucose screen for me. I apologized even though I wasn't sorry. I don't know about you, but I am of the opinion that if they want me to take a test that requires that I don't eat for two hours first, they should notify me of that more than 10 minutes prior to the test. I guess I'm just a pain like that. At least now I have something to look forward to at my next appointment. Ha!
Then came the lovely weigh-in. I watched out of the corner of my eye as the nurse fidgeted with the sliders on the scale - not too bad. Not great, but not too bad, especially considering I was recently on a week-long business trip during which I ate out for breakfast, lunch and dinner every day. I'd lost all portion perspective by the time I got home. I stepped off the scale. The nurse began to write my weight in my chart, then paused and said: "I think I got your weight wrong. There's no way you gained that much in a month. You couldn't have eaten that much cake - ha ha! Hop back up there for me." So I did, and she re-weighed me, and it was exactly the same as it was the first time. Yeowch. She did not apologize. The offensive monthly gain? 7 pounds. Maybe I'm crazy but that doesn't seem too out there to me. I mean, as I said before - it's not great - but worth putting a hormonal pregnant lady through that whole get-back-on-the-scale routine? I think not!
The rest of my appointment (read: after the nurse left the room) went pretty well. The baby's heartbeat was in the 140s and I'm measuring one week ahead. The NP (like everyone I pass on the street these days, it seems) said I look even farther ahead than that but explained it the same way M and I have: Ridiculously short waist = no where to go but out. I talked to her about whether or not I'll have the freedom to move around and eat during labor (yes and a lukewarm 'not really but you won't feel like it'), whether I can have access to a birthing tub during contractions and/or pushing (yes), and whether they will require an IV and/or constant monitoring (no and no). She reassured me that my OB is well-known for allowing laboring moms to do pretty much whatever they want, as long as they and the baby are safe. I knew this and it's why I picked the doctor I did, but it's always good to hear it again.
I'm one for two on the tasks I promised myself I would complete by the end of the week, come hell or high water. We are successfully registered for daycare and our hefty deposit has been paid, but we have not yet registered for hypno.birthing classes. I'm kind of intimidated to make that call because (1) I don't want to hear how much the classes are going to cost (I believe they're around $300 - great timing for that kind of expense, huh?) and (2) I have no idea when we will squeeze them in around the holidays. That said, the longer we wait, the more precious practice time we are losing. Guess I'd better make the call tomorrow. Blech.
Next up: 24-week belly pic and case notes from two incidents of Acute-Onset Pregnancy Brain.
Thursday, November 20, 2008
Monday, November 17, 2008
now that's what I call a weekend
I am off work today - a fact I am grateful for because I need some down-time to recover from my... well, down-time.
M and I went to a gathering at a friend's house after work on Friday. We stayed until almost midnight. It's been a long time since I felt up to that. I am so loving this second trimester energy!
The next morning, we woke up and went out into the freezing cold (literally) to attend our local prop 8 protest. M and I ended up being interviewed by our local news station, and of course we looked like big idiots because (a) we'd been standing in a 20-something degree windchill for 2 hours and had runny, pink eyes and noses and (b) they cut 85% of what we said leaving an uninspired and unsupported sound byte, but what can you do? (Answer: Say no when someone asks to shove a microphone in your face next time.) As we watched ourselves that evening, we tried consoling each other with the fact that no one watches the evening news on Saturdays, right? Right??
That night we went to the symphony. We ran into one person we knew there and the first thing he said was "Hey, I saw you on TV!" Awesome. The symphony was wonderful. It's more M's thing than mine and she said the performance of the most well-known piece was the best she's heard, which is saying something.
On Sunday, we'd planned to go to a working retreat for a group I'm on the board of. M is not on the board, but we'd been asked to invite partners and/or friends who might be willing to give input on some decisions we're making for 2009. I'd been asked specifically to bring M since she's helped out with many of our projects in the past. That morning, I spent a good couple of hours catching up on all the prep work I should have done in the two weeks prior to the retreat and I made M listen to more of it on the 45 minute drive to the retreat site. I packed up everything I thought I'd need for the retreat - board paperwork from the last few months, a notebook, extra pens... When we got there, it wasn't a retreat at all but a surprise baby shower! Even when I saw the cameras and the cake and the gifts and all the people yelling surprise (many of whom are not on our board), my thought was still "Oh, how sweet! We're going to have a little baby-thing on one of our breaks!" Yeah, I was completely clueless, as was M. We were SO surprised and so touched. Just last week I told a friend we'd really only registered for our own shopping list purposes because we probably wouldn't be having any showers. Our friends and family are so spread out, I just didn't think it would be feasible for enough people to be in one place at one time to have an actual shower. We were completely blown away and touched that these friends took it upon themselves to organize something, and it was super fun!
We got so many great gifts, and only a handful of them were off our registry since it's only been up for a week or so - oops! Our friends were giving us grief for not registering sooner (and here I thought we were doing it so early!) and I told them that was just one more indicator that this was nowhere on my radar. Had I known they were all out shopping, I would have been happy to make their jobs easier. Four couples got together (including the organizers) and gave us an A-Z baby basket. It had 26 gifts in it - one for each letter of the alphabet! Many of the gifts could have been used for more than one letter, so one of the shower games was to match up each gift to it's alphabet letter. Everyone had a sheet labeled A through Z and they wrote down the different items as we took them out of the basket. It was a great idea. There was also a gorgeous homemade cake. I have no pictures yet because who brings their camera to a work retreat? Not me. Fortunately, others were more appropriately prepared so I should be able to get copies from them. I'm just glad I showered and wore clean clothes!
We came home beyond exhausted, and beyond touched.
Today I have acupuncture and my 24-week OB appointment. Other than that, I plan to take it easy and maybe start on some thank you notes. Of course, that means I'll have to buy some first. Did I mention the shower was a complete surprise? :-)
M and I went to a gathering at a friend's house after work on Friday. We stayed until almost midnight. It's been a long time since I felt up to that. I am so loving this second trimester energy!
The next morning, we woke up and went out into the freezing cold (literally) to attend our local prop 8 protest. M and I ended up being interviewed by our local news station, and of course we looked like big idiots because (a) we'd been standing in a 20-something degree windchill for 2 hours and had runny, pink eyes and noses and (b) they cut 85% of what we said leaving an uninspired and unsupported sound byte, but what can you do? (Answer: Say no when someone asks to shove a microphone in your face next time.) As we watched ourselves that evening, we tried consoling each other with the fact that no one watches the evening news on Saturdays, right? Right??
That night we went to the symphony. We ran into one person we knew there and the first thing he said was "Hey, I saw you on TV!" Awesome. The symphony was wonderful. It's more M's thing than mine and she said the performance of the most well-known piece was the best she's heard, which is saying something.
On Sunday, we'd planned to go to a working retreat for a group I'm on the board of. M is not on the board, but we'd been asked to invite partners and/or friends who might be willing to give input on some decisions we're making for 2009. I'd been asked specifically to bring M since she's helped out with many of our projects in the past. That morning, I spent a good couple of hours catching up on all the prep work I should have done in the two weeks prior to the retreat and I made M listen to more of it on the 45 minute drive to the retreat site. I packed up everything I thought I'd need for the retreat - board paperwork from the last few months, a notebook, extra pens... When we got there, it wasn't a retreat at all but a surprise baby shower! Even when I saw the cameras and the cake and the gifts and all the people yelling surprise (many of whom are not on our board), my thought was still "Oh, how sweet! We're going to have a little baby-thing on one of our breaks!" Yeah, I was completely clueless, as was M. We were SO surprised and so touched. Just last week I told a friend we'd really only registered for our own shopping list purposes because we probably wouldn't be having any showers. Our friends and family are so spread out, I just didn't think it would be feasible for enough people to be in one place at one time to have an actual shower. We were completely blown away and touched that these friends took it upon themselves to organize something, and it was super fun!
We got so many great gifts, and only a handful of them were off our registry since it's only been up for a week or so - oops! Our friends were giving us grief for not registering sooner (and here I thought we were doing it so early!) and I told them that was just one more indicator that this was nowhere on my radar. Had I known they were all out shopping, I would have been happy to make their jobs easier. Four couples got together (including the organizers) and gave us an A-Z baby basket. It had 26 gifts in it - one for each letter of the alphabet! Many of the gifts could have been used for more than one letter, so one of the shower games was to match up each gift to it's alphabet letter. Everyone had a sheet labeled A through Z and they wrote down the different items as we took them out of the basket. It was a great idea. There was also a gorgeous homemade cake. I have no pictures yet because who brings their camera to a work retreat? Not me. Fortunately, others were more appropriately prepared so I should be able to get copies from them. I'm just glad I showered and wore clean clothes!
We came home beyond exhausted, and beyond touched.
Today I have acupuncture and my 24-week OB appointment. Other than that, I plan to take it easy and maybe start on some thank you notes. Of course, that means I'll have to buy some first. Did I mention the shower was a complete surprise? :-)
Thursday, October 30, 2008
back, more or less
We are back in our time-zone of residence, but you wouldn't know it from the way I've been dragging around the last couple of days. I am so exhausted! I'm counting down the minutes to the weekend so I can take a break. I'm off work on Monday so I'll have three whole days to recharge my batteries. Our 11 days o' parents was fun. And busy, and sleepless, and I-can't-believe-I-ate-the-whole-thing-ish. As a result, we are completely behind on our normal life responsibilities - bills, grocery shopping, dog and cat snuggling, laundry, belly shots... speaking of which:
That would be my mega-belly. That would also be our twenty-one week belly shot. Yeah, we were doing them every four weeks and the last one was at 16 so this one should have been at 20 but I'm impressed we took one at all at the rate we've been going. One week overdue? You should see some of the dates in our refrigerator.
And while I'm posting pics, here are a few of someone waaaaay cuter than me:
I can't wait to tickle those little toes.
The baby had one arm tucked up alongside its head and refused to move it until the very end of the ultrasound, no matter how hard the tech poked and prodded. It appears we've got a stubborn one on our hands already. I'm now sure we're going to have one of those babies that takes forever to move down the birth canal because their darn arm is up alongside their head the whole time. The funny thing is that I sleep with one or both arms over my head nearly every night and I have since the day I was born. Guess that really is my baby in there.
He or she is head-down and all the way over on the right side of my body, so it seems all those "kicks" I've been claiming in the lower right part of my abdomen are actually punches and elbows. I'm starting to feel stronger sensations in the center now, below my belly button, so maybe those are from little legs that are folded up funny. We didn't get a good view of how the legs are positioned because the sonographer was avoiding everything below the baby's waist as much as possible. M felt a kick for the first time last night. Two, actually. I'm excited to finally be able to share that with her.
I think we're going to try to register on Sunday, or at least get started. We've looked at the calendar and we don't have another free weekend until after Thanksgiving, by which point I suspect we'll be overcome by holiday madness and it'll be a chore we'll be glad to have behind us. I'm feeling nesting urges and I'm hoping making a list of everything we need will feel like a step in the right direction.
The washer is buzzing at me which means I can move the laundry into the dryer and go to bed. One more day of work. I think I can! I think I can!
Friday, October 24, 2008
best show in town
We're staying with M's parents so I only have a minute but I wanted to update that our ultrasound went perfectly. Baby is measuring to the day for height but seems to be a bit of a chubster! Weight is estimated at 13 oz. and the average for 20 weeks is about 10.5. Oy vey. Due date is still 3/11/09. The ultrasound itself took nearly an hour and it was awesome getting to gaze at the little one for such a long time.
I have great pics but I managed to scan them into the wrong format for posting so I won't be able to share them until we get home next week. I keep pulling them out and staring at the little profile. I can't believe we'll be kissing that face in a little over four months.
We did not find out the sex. I was so tempted laying there on the table with the information right there at our fingertips but I'm glad we held out.
Not sure if I'll get online again while we're here, but I'll be back next week to catch up on everyone!
I have great pics but I managed to scan them into the wrong format for posting so I won't be able to share them until we get home next week. I keep pulling them out and staring at the little profile. I can't believe we'll be kissing that face in a little over four months.
We did not find out the sex. I was so tempted laying there on the table with the information right there at our fingertips but I'm glad we held out.
Not sure if I'll get online again while we're here, but I'll be back next week to catch up on everyone!
Saturday, October 18, 2008
crusing right along
I'm going to be quick because my parents are staying with us and I need to get in the shower if I don't want to be the hold up.
Everything is still going well. Judging by my bladder and lung capacities, things seem to be shifting upward internally. I think I've only had to get up to pee once in the past 7+ nights - a huge and welcome change! On the flip side, my lung capacity is deteriorating rapidly. I get winded going up a single flight of stairs these days.
I think we've decided on a daycare. I went to visit one on Tuesday that was awesome. It was completely different than the first one I fell in love with, but equally good, I think. The scale-tipper is that we can reserve a spot for June (unlike the other one where we're currently sitting near the bottom of a one year waitlist) and they charge $100 less per week! It's right down the street from my office so I can breastfeed at lunch if I want to and they will use cloth diapers if we decide to go that route. We're going to try to find a time for M to check it out before we put down a deposit, but with her work schedule, that just may not happen. She'll get in there before the baby does, one way or another. We tend to have pretty similar values on these types of decisions so I'm sure she'll love it when it finally works out for her to visit.
Ultrasound is this Wednesday! I can't wait. I will be 20 weeks to the day. I can't believe I'm almost halfway through my pregnancy! I also have an OB appointment on Monday so it'll be a big baby week. Hopefully all will go well.
More soon, including the scoop on yesterday's chat with our RE. Nothing major, or even that interesting, but I'll post about it anyway. :-)
Everything is still going well. Judging by my bladder and lung capacities, things seem to be shifting upward internally. I think I've only had to get up to pee once in the past 7+ nights - a huge and welcome change! On the flip side, my lung capacity is deteriorating rapidly. I get winded going up a single flight of stairs these days.
I think we've decided on a daycare. I went to visit one on Tuesday that was awesome. It was completely different than the first one I fell in love with, but equally good, I think. The scale-tipper is that we can reserve a spot for June (unlike the other one where we're currently sitting near the bottom of a one year waitlist) and they charge $100 less per week! It's right down the street from my office so I can breastfeed at lunch if I want to and they will use cloth diapers if we decide to go that route. We're going to try to find a time for M to check it out before we put down a deposit, but with her work schedule, that just may not happen. She'll get in there before the baby does, one way or another. We tend to have pretty similar values on these types of decisions so I'm sure she'll love it when it finally works out for her to visit.
Ultrasound is this Wednesday! I can't wait. I will be 20 weeks to the day. I can't believe I'm almost halfway through my pregnancy! I also have an OB appointment on Monday so it'll be a big baby week. Hopefully all will go well.
More soon, including the scoop on yesterday's chat with our RE. Nothing major, or even that interesting, but I'll post about it anyway. :-)
Wednesday, October 8, 2008
current conditions
Things at work have been non-stop, insanely busy and my home computer is acting up, so my internet access is pretty limited at the moment. Tonight, for some reason, it is cooperating so I bring you an 18 week update!
Things are going really well. I am absolutely loving the fact that I can eat again... and I'm celebrating by eating pretty much everything in arm's reach. I'm only up 7 pounds from my pre-IVF weight (right on track according to my "your pregnancy this week" email which says I should have gained 5-10 pounds by now) but my big ol' belly is already forcing me out of a few of my earliest maternity items. Today I did the rubber band trick on a pair of maternity pants - yikes!
I'm getting pretty consistent movement these days and it's such a trip! I'm amazed by how much this little one is rockin' and rollin' in there. I can't wait until M can feel it from the outside.
Our big ultrasound is 10/22. I can't wait! It's been over a month since we've had a glimpse at the baby and I know he or she has developed so much since then. It worked out that my mom will be in town during our ultrasound so she's going to come along. I'm really excited about sharing it with her. We're still firmly in the "not finding out" camp so there won't be any gender announcements, but hopefully we'll get some pretty pictures to share.
Still haven't heard anything back on the quad screen, but I'm assuming no news is good news.
I'm nearly finished with the hypnobirthing book and it's mostly resonating, but I'm a bit overwhelmed by it all, too. I think taking the classes will really help cement the key concepts. Contacting local instructors is on my list for this week, computer willing.
We're still struggling with girl names. I'm pretty sure we will be right up until (and during?) labor. M and I just have such different taste. It's amazing we agreed on the boy names as easily as we did, really.
I paid the last of our outstanding IVF bills today - they totaled* a mere $2200. Yeowch. Still, I would do it again in a heartbeat and there isn't a minute that goes by that I don't think about how amazingly lucky we are. I went through so many months (years?) believing so completely that this could never happen for us. My heart is with those still waiting and hurting. I hope that your babies find you sooner rather than later.
* Did you know the dictionary lists both totaled and totalled as appropriate ways to spell this word? How can that be? Commit, people!
Things are going really well. I am absolutely loving the fact that I can eat again... and I'm celebrating by eating pretty much everything in arm's reach. I'm only up 7 pounds from my pre-IVF weight (right on track according to my "your pregnancy this week" email which says I should have gained 5-10 pounds by now) but my big ol' belly is already forcing me out of a few of my earliest maternity items. Today I did the rubber band trick on a pair of maternity pants - yikes!
I'm getting pretty consistent movement these days and it's such a trip! I'm amazed by how much this little one is rockin' and rollin' in there. I can't wait until M can feel it from the outside.
Our big ultrasound is 10/22. I can't wait! It's been over a month since we've had a glimpse at the baby and I know he or she has developed so much since then. It worked out that my mom will be in town during our ultrasound so she's going to come along. I'm really excited about sharing it with her. We're still firmly in the "not finding out" camp so there won't be any gender announcements, but hopefully we'll get some pretty pictures to share.
Still haven't heard anything back on the quad screen, but I'm assuming no news is good news.
I'm nearly finished with the hypnobirthing book and it's mostly resonating, but I'm a bit overwhelmed by it all, too. I think taking the classes will really help cement the key concepts. Contacting local instructors is on my list for this week, computer willing.
We're still struggling with girl names. I'm pretty sure we will be right up until (and during?) labor. M and I just have such different taste. It's amazing we agreed on the boy names as easily as we did, really.
I paid the last of our outstanding IVF bills today - they totaled* a mere $2200. Yeowch. Still, I would do it again in a heartbeat and there isn't a minute that goes by that I don't think about how amazingly lucky we are. I went through so many months (years?) believing so completely that this could never happen for us. My heart is with those still waiting and hurting. I hope that your babies find you sooner rather than later.
* Did you know the dictionary lists both totaled and totalled as appropriate ways to spell this word? How can that be? Commit, people!
Monday, September 29, 2008
reality check in aisle 2, please
I took off work early today to look at the first of several daycares we're considering. When I got home, there was a bottle (free sample - Medela BPA Free) in my mailbox. My "is that... no... well, maybe" movement of the last week has evolved into definite flutters, taps and rolls over the last couple of days. My life is so very different today than it was 6 months ago. More than that, it's different than I even dared to hope it could be.
The daycare was great. It's a non-profit child development center with awesome core values around social responsibility, diversity, community, etc. It's crazy expensive but they provide lots of scholarships and seeing as I'm technically a single parent, in the legal sense at least, I think we'll probably qualify. The downside is that they have a one-year waiting list for infants. That wouldn't be a big deal if we were looking for a daycare for the long haul, but there's a possibility we'll only need a daycare in this state for a few months to a year, so I'd prefer not to jump around during that time. I think we'll probably sign up anyway in case something opens up sooner, but I recognize it may not work out. M and I are going together to check out another one on Thursday, and I have one more on my list for this week if they ever return my phone call (not a good sign).
I've heard so many people say this that it sounds hopelessly cliche to me, but it's my turn now so just smile and nod at me if you have to: I can't believe how much faster the second trimester is going! I felt conscious of every day, hour and minute of my first trimester, but the first month of my second trimester has gone by in the blink of an eye. I'm glad we're working on daycares already (especially after the waiting list I encountered today!) and the farther I get into my Hyp.nobirthing book, the more I realize we should be starting classes, like, yesterday. By the time we get those two checked off the list, it'll be time to register and look for a pediatrician. I just can't believe The Time For All This is upon us already.
Oh crap, and I promised you a belly shot. This is what 16 weeks looks like around these parts. I've only gained 6 pounds from my pre-IVF weight, but you can see where every last ounce went! Oh well. I'm about 90% thrilled to finally have a baby bump of my very own and 10% shocked and paranoid about how absurdly huge I seem, so I guess that's not a bad ratio. Anyway, on to the pic...
OK Vee, you're up! :-)
Monday, September 22, 2008
I've got rhythm
Baby's HB was in the 150s and all is looking good.
I can't describe what a relief it was to hear that strong little heartbeat today. My last check-up was just before 12 weeks and I've been so fearful of a missed m/c. (Who I am I telling this to? You all read my blog. You know about my neuroses.) Anyway, things are good and after hearing the heartbeat at nearly 16 weeks, I think I may finally be able to settle into the idea that the most dangerous part is actually behind us. It's amazing how much more real this pregnancy seems after each milestone we pass. Also at today's appointment: blood draw for the quad screen. I'm not sure how long it will take to get the results back but I think it's usually a couple of weeks, right? I probably should have asked that. Am I the only person who doesn't think of the right questions to ask until after I leave the doctor's office? At the moment, I'm still basking in the glow of the heartbeat so I really don't care how long it takes. Check back with me in a week or two and see how patient I am then. ;-)
I don't have a date for the "big" ultrasound yet. The doctor's office has to schedule it at a separate clinic so hopefully I'll hear something from them tomorrow. I requested 10/20 because my mom will be in town and I think it would be fun for her to come along. It's hard having her so far away. There are so many things about this pregnancy I'd like to share with her that I just can't on accounta the pile of states separating us.
My OB asked about our birth preferences. M defered to me and I explained that I would prefer to have a natural childbirth and planned to take steps to achieve that, but that we'll have to see what happens and I'm not completely opposed to meds/interventions if the situation demands them. Having never gone through childbirth before, I think it would be presumptuous of me to assume that I definitely can do it without drugs, but equally presumptuous of me to assume that I can't. We told her about our plans to look into Hyp.nobirthing and she advised that we commit to a method and start practicing NOW because this baby will be here before we know it. (Gulp) Overall, she seemed very supportive of our goal and I think she'll do what she can to help our baby come into the world with the least intervention possible.
And about that belly pic... Vee, you're on. We haven't taken a picture since 12 weeks but we'll be sure to take one when I hit 16 weeks on Wednesday and I will post it here. So, if you don't have a good one ready to post, you might want to dust off the camera and start posing with that baby belly of yours! :-) And inlocoparentis, thank you my dear. We will have to remember to get some photographic evidence of the baby bump + the I heart safe sex t-shirt before I'm too big to squeeze into it.
I don't have a date for the "big" ultrasound yet. The doctor's office has to schedule it at a separate clinic so hopefully I'll hear something from them tomorrow. I requested 10/20 because my mom will be in town and I think it would be fun for her to come along. It's hard having her so far away. There are so many things about this pregnancy I'd like to share with her that I just can't on accounta the pile of states separating us.
My OB asked about our birth preferences. M defered to me and I explained that I would prefer to have a natural childbirth and planned to take steps to achieve that, but that we'll have to see what happens and I'm not completely opposed to meds/interventions if the situation demands them. Having never gone through childbirth before, I think it would be presumptuous of me to assume that I definitely can do it without drugs, but equally presumptuous of me to assume that I can't. We told her about our plans to look into Hyp.nobirthing and she advised that we commit to a method and start practicing NOW because this baby will be here before we know it. (Gulp) Overall, she seemed very supportive of our goal and I think she'll do what she can to help our baby come into the world with the least intervention possible.
And about that belly pic... Vee, you're on. We haven't taken a picture since 12 weeks but we'll be sure to take one when I hit 16 weeks on Wednesday and I will post it here. So, if you don't have a good one ready to post, you might want to dust off the camera and start posing with that baby belly of yours! :-) And inlocoparentis, thank you my dear. We will have to remember to get some photographic evidence of the baby bump + the I heart safe sex t-shirt before I'm too big to squeeze into it.
Saturday, September 20, 2008
the view from week 15
OK, I'm going to go out on a limb and say it... (drumroll please)
I think I'm starting to feel better! The last time I was so bold as to proclaim that to someone, I was rewarded with another week of yuckiness, but I've had several good days in a row this week so I'm taking the risk.
Interestingly, my crippling fatigue seems to be have been replaced with... insomnia. How's that for weird? I'm already to the point where I can't find a comfortable position in bed (awesome, considering I've got nearly 6 months of growing to go) so it takes me a long time to fall asleep. Then, when I get up to pee a couple of hours later, it takes me another hour to get BACK to sleep. Rinse. Repeat. Some nights I only have to pee once, and those nights rock. The double-bathroom-trip nights (read: two rounds of coaxing myself back to sleep) are starting to get on my nerves. Amazingly, I'm not as tired from this lack of sleep as I'd expect. When I was an obnoxious teenager, I told my mom I could never have kids because I like sleeping too much. I'd never be able to put up with the sleep deprivation. I meant it, too. I seriously did not think I was cut out for it. But now I see that your body truly adapts to not need as much sleep. If you'd told me (even a year ago) how much sleep I'd get over this past week, I'd have predicted I'd be in a coma, but actually, I'm surprisingly functional if I do say so myself. I mean, I'm not at the top of my game by any means, but I've been relatively alert, dressed, working and not biting anyone's head off. I know having a newborn will still push us both to the limits and then some, but I recognize and appreciate the steps my body is already taking to prepare me.
I continue to be enormous for my stage of pregnancy - always the overachiever. I have a doctor's appointment on Monday so we'll see if she mistakes me for a third trimester patient. It could happen. I'm only 5 pounds over my pre-IVF weight, which is right on track according to those weekly emails I get, but I think every last ounce went straight to my belly. I might post a picture one of these days, but every time I see anyone else's belly pics, I lose my nerve. I seem to be double, no triple the size of most 15-16 week pregnant women. I wonder if this baby is going to be 15 pounds when it's born.
I think we're going to do Hyp.nobirthing. I've been leaning toward it for a while and I finally bought the book. I want M to read it too to make sure she's on board, but from my obsessive and neurotic research, it seems to resonate most strongly for me, and to yield the highest success rates for natural births. I found a few instructors in my area but then heard from a friend of a friend who only read the book and used the CD and had one of those freakishly perfect birth experiences, so maybe the classes aren't necessary. I dunno. I have a feeling we're going to need all the help we can get since this kid is (apparently) going to be so ginormous.
We're working on names. We have a short list for a boy that we're both happy with but we're positively lost on girl names. We have a list of names that neither of us love but they're the best we've come up with. That is one thing about not finding out the sex - we have to do double-duty on name generation. Oh well, at least we have lots of time left. Looks like we may need it!
I think I'm starting to feel better! The last time I was so bold as to proclaim that to someone, I was rewarded with another week of yuckiness, but I've had several good days in a row this week so I'm taking the risk.
Interestingly, my crippling fatigue seems to be have been replaced with... insomnia. How's that for weird? I'm already to the point where I can't find a comfortable position in bed (awesome, considering I've got nearly 6 months of growing to go) so it takes me a long time to fall asleep. Then, when I get up to pee a couple of hours later, it takes me another hour to get BACK to sleep. Rinse. Repeat. Some nights I only have to pee once, and those nights rock. The double-bathroom-trip nights (read: two rounds of coaxing myself back to sleep) are starting to get on my nerves. Amazingly, I'm not as tired from this lack of sleep as I'd expect. When I was an obnoxious teenager, I told my mom I could never have kids because I like sleeping too much. I'd never be able to put up with the sleep deprivation. I meant it, too. I seriously did not think I was cut out for it. But now I see that your body truly adapts to not need as much sleep. If you'd told me (even a year ago) how much sleep I'd get over this past week, I'd have predicted I'd be in a coma, but actually, I'm surprisingly functional if I do say so myself. I mean, I'm not at the top of my game by any means, but I've been relatively alert, dressed, working and not biting anyone's head off. I know having a newborn will still push us both to the limits and then some, but I recognize and appreciate the steps my body is already taking to prepare me.
I continue to be enormous for my stage of pregnancy - always the overachiever. I have a doctor's appointment on Monday so we'll see if she mistakes me for a third trimester patient. It could happen. I'm only 5 pounds over my pre-IVF weight, which is right on track according to those weekly emails I get, but I think every last ounce went straight to my belly. I might post a picture one of these days, but every time I see anyone else's belly pics, I lose my nerve. I seem to be double, no triple the size of most 15-16 week pregnant women. I wonder if this baby is going to be 15 pounds when it's born.
I think we're going to do Hyp.nobirthing. I've been leaning toward it for a while and I finally bought the book. I want M to read it too to make sure she's on board, but from my obsessive and neurotic research, it seems to resonate most strongly for me, and to yield the highest success rates for natural births. I found a few instructors in my area but then heard from a friend of a friend who only read the book and used the CD and had one of those freakishly perfect birth experiences, so maybe the classes aren't necessary. I dunno. I have a feeling we're going to need all the help we can get since this kid is (apparently) going to be so ginormous.
We're working on names. We have a short list for a boy that we're both happy with but we're positively lost on girl names. We have a list of names that neither of us love but they're the best we've come up with. That is one thing about not finding out the sex - we have to do double-duty on name generation. Oh well, at least we have lots of time left. Looks like we may need it!
Saturday, September 13, 2008
I'm alive
Thank you to dreams for the reminder that there is a whole world out there and that a handful of them might be thinking of me as I sleep my life away. As cheesy as this sounds, it's really heartwarming to know people are looking out for me.
All is well, as far as I know. Of course I'm still terrified something has gone wrong and my body doesn't know it and my OB will inform me of my missed miscarriage at my next appointment, but the worry seems to have receded a bit over the last few days (knock on wood). My belly continues to grow and I'm symptomatic as ever. My next appointment is coming up quickly (9/22) and I'm looking forward to another listen (or glimpse?) of that little heartbeat.
In loco parentis is here for a quick visit and she kept me up until 1am last night - no small feat, these days! I wish neither of us had personal experiences to contribute to a conversation about fertility and pregnancy struggles, but on the flip side, we've had some great talks about the insights our journeys have brought us and how both of us "getting it" has strengthened a friendship between us that was pretty darn good to start out with. I wish she could stay longer, but alas, she has a plane to catch and I just heard the suitcase zip up.
I'm really, really going to try not to be so flaky. Really. And if I disappear again, feel free to call me out on it. I know how scary it is when one of us becomes silent for a while. I will definitely post if anything awful happens - or really anything significant at all - so if you don't hear from me, it's fairly safe to assume I'm just sleeping. Again. Probably for like 12 hours at a time.
All is well, as far as I know. Of course I'm still terrified something has gone wrong and my body doesn't know it and my OB will inform me of my missed miscarriage at my next appointment, but the worry seems to have receded a bit over the last few days (knock on wood). My belly continues to grow and I'm symptomatic as ever. My next appointment is coming up quickly (9/22) and I'm looking forward to another listen (or glimpse?) of that little heartbeat.
In loco parentis is here for a quick visit and she kept me up until 1am last night - no small feat, these days! I wish neither of us had personal experiences to contribute to a conversation about fertility and pregnancy struggles, but on the flip side, we've had some great talks about the insights our journeys have brought us and how both of us "getting it" has strengthened a friendship between us that was pretty darn good to start out with. I wish she could stay longer, but alas, she has a plane to catch and I just heard the suitcase zip up.
I'm really, really going to try not to be so flaky. Really. And if I disappear again, feel free to call me out on it. I know how scary it is when one of us becomes silent for a while. I will definitely post if anything awful happens - or really anything significant at all - so if you don't hear from me, it's fairly safe to assume I'm just sleeping. Again. Probably for like 12 hours at a time.
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