Friday, February 4, 2011

"You are pregnant, but..."

That's how the conversation started when the nurse called with my beta results yesterday. She went on to say my number was 5 which is "very low" and the doctor wanted to caution me against getting my hopes up. No hope - check.

Apparently, 5 is the precise lowest number you can have and still be required to come in for a repeat beta. Lucky me! I should buy a lottery ticket. Ha. Next blood draw will be Monday.

In related news, I'm still in the grief bubble. It's wreaking havoc on our home life and I've got to shake it off. Poor M has been taking up a lot of slack this week, all the while coping with her own disappointment, and poor E is channeling all of my bad vibes and turning into a bonafide MONSTER - epic temper tantrums over nothing that last an hour or longer - and neither M or I are able to cope well given our already frayed nerves.

I had a local cycle buddy who had her FET 20 minutes before mine with the same doctor at the same clinic. She transferred three embryos and her beta was 1004 yesterday. I'm confused about what "day" our embryos were so yesterday was either 18 or 19dpo. Her 19dpo beta with her first pregnancy was 147. She's probably having twins, at least, and I'm having nothing. Genuinely over the moon for her. Genuinely devastated for me.

5 comments:

J and DZ said...

I'm so sorry you are going through all of this and on top of it have to go back in for a repeat beta. "Your pregnant, but..." really isn't the way that news should have been shared. ):

Lucy said...

Well that sucks :( Sorry to hear...

veeandjay said...

Suckage and blowage.

anofferingoflove said...

oh, that f*cking sucks. im so sorry.
((()))

For the Long Haul said...

I'm so sorry. Just wanted to say how much I feel what you're going through. While it is fabulous, and wonderful to have a child, the thought of not having a sibling for said child can be equally devastating. Wishing you peace and another try soon... Hugs...