Tuesday, June 24, 2008

staring out at a loooong 2 weeks

Apparently my clinic subscribes to the same sadistic philosophy as vee and jay’s. My beta is scheduled for July 7th. WTF! I’m definitely not going to make it that far. I’m hoping to hold out until the 4th because I’m terrified of getting a negative test result and having to go to work the same day. The 4th starts a 4-day holiday weekend for me so I’ll have plenty of time to celebrate or mourn before having to face unknowing clients and co-workers again.

I’ll be impressed if I make it to the 4th, to be honest. I’ve been a “test early and often” girl since the beginning. The 4th will be 11 days past a 5-day transfer, so kind of like 16dpi. There’s no way the devil on my shoulder will let me go that long without a little POAS action.

The situation with my parents has gone from bad to worse. They are fully considering this to be a done deal. My dad asked (in complete seriousness) whether I was officially pregnant now that the transfer was complete. When I told him no, he asked “at what stage” I start to be considered pregnant. My answer? Um, when I actually AM pregnant? Their enthusiasm is so sweet and I’m trying to resist the pull I feel to be extra-pessimistic to balance them out. I find myself bristling because I know that if this works, they’re going to be exalting their intuition because they “knew it all along” and I’m going to feel defensive that they don’t realize what a freaking coincidence – no, miracle - it still is that it worked, even after all pre-transfer signs were good.

But then I stop myself. I mean, seriously? Does it matter whether they get excited now or later? I know what the statistics are. I know what that means for our chances. I’m still doing what I need to do to prepare myself, and I've tried to arm them with the information they need to prepare themselves as well. If this is how they choose to handle it, so be it. I should be so lucky to get a BFP so I have to hear them say they told me so. If that is the greatest of my concerns, I’ll be living a charmed life indeed.


Inlocoparentis said...

I can see how that would be really tough, because you don't want to look like a negative nelly, and at the same time, want them to be prepared for all the possibilities. Personally, though, I think it's good luck - your parents are subscribing to "The Secret" and don't even know it. I love them for being so excited.

Here's to a quick TWW.

veeandjay said...

I think it's sweet your folks are so excited, albeit a little over optimistic. Hope and excitement have been so scarce for so long, maybe it's a good thing they're taking it where they can get it, even if you no longer can, due to bitter experience.

I know what you mean about the balancing thing - I always try to do that with jay and she gets sad that I'm being negative when I'm only trying to protect her heart. I guess though that if it doesn't work out, it's going to hurt like hell, regardless. I say hope.

Lizzie said...

I think you're going to have to live with a lifetime of your parents saying "I told you so." I'm sorry! That's annoying. But you'll be holding your child while they say it !!!! :)

(excuse me while i go your parents route!!)

babypants said...

I would test early too. It feels barbaric to wait that long.
I am in the camp that it is really sweet that your parents are so optimistic, but I can see why you are feeling cautious. I am going to do some hoping for you.

Travelher and Pufferfish said...

I really, really hope your parents get to say "I told you so" on July 4th.
Speedy TWW, go go go!

Heather said...

I too think that its sweet that your folks are so excited.

We've decided not to tell our parents because the first time we did they would not stop asking if it worked and yadda yadda. So this time around we've kept it from them and it will be a suprise when we get our BFP.

Laurie is a "test eary and often" kinda girl too, I think that we should buy stock in HPT