the view from cloud nine

I would like to say the shock has worn off, but... it hasn't! This is a dream come true. I still can't believe I'm pregnant after everything we've been through. I took another test yesterday morning because I needed a little reassurance and that beautiful second line came up right away - darker than ever. I'm sure I'll do one more sometime this weekend, and on Monday, we'll get our first beta!

M and I went out to dinner last night and we spent the whole meal shaking our heads in wonder at how unbelievably lucky we are. We aren't taking a single minute of this for granted and we are constantly aware of how easily it could have gone the other way, and how easily it still could slip through our fingers. That said, I don't feel the intense pre-beta nervousness I expected to. I think it's because I already have so many symptoms that lead me to believe my hormone levels are coming along just fine.

I've been ridiculously exhausted for a week now - as in coming home from work and taking a nap and still going to bed at 9pm tired. I have heartburn and little flashes of nausea, especially right before meal times and for the first few minutes that I'm eating. I go from zero to starving in the blink of an eye. Last night I nearly left our table to steal some bread from the serving station while we were waiting for our dinner to come. My OHSS discomfort is back (an indicator of the presence of HcG), I have pretty significant cramps, I'm smelling things no one around me is noticing and little things are triggering emotional volcanoes. I had acupuncture yesterday and my acupuncturist confirmed that my pulses are in full pregnancy mode. She thinks there are twins in there. I have had my own secret suspicions about that, but don't tell anyone! ;-)

We are just so completely blown away by the fact that this is happening. I stood in the guest room (read: future nursery) this morning and looked around, imagining it outfitted with a crib and a changing table. It's been a loooong time since I've allowed myself to daydream like that. We know we have a long road ahead of us and there are many hazards to avoid along the way, but today, we are pregnant. Today, we are sitting farther down the road than we have ever made it before.