Monday, July 14, 2008

on pins and needles (updated with beta results!)

I am seriously about to lose my mind. My stomach is all queasy and I can't get my thoughts to stop racing. I'm just so terrified that my beta results aren't going to be good today. I'm kicking myself for having booked a full afternoon at work. What was I thinking? If we get bad news, there's a whole bunch of schedule clearing standing between me and a rapid depature for home.

Right now is about that time they called last week with my results. So, the fact that they haven't called yet is making me certain that my results are in the bad news pile and not the good news pile. I know, I'm a crazy person. Maybe I'm in the later call pile because we already know everything is fine and it's more time-sensitive to call the people getting their first betas and let them off the edges of their seats. That could be it. Even more likely, my test may take a little longer this time because they were doing blood typing as well. I recognize that (assuming that the time I am called means anything which it probably doesn't) there are a hundred unimportant reasons why I might get called 1 or 3 or 6 hours later this week than last week. I wish I could turn the crazy paranoia off, but this means so much to me and I am just so, so nervous.

OK, I actually feel better writing some of my insanity down. In fact, I'm flirting with the idea of not even answering my phone and letting it roll to voicemail until after my last client appointment. That will still leave me plenty of time to call the clinic back if I need to, but hopefully it'll be a moot point because the message will be: "Hi K, this is [nurse] from [doctor's] office. I have your beta results. They are a hundred thousand million so keep doing exactly what you're doing and we'll see you for an ultrasound on Monday, 7/21. Call us if you have any questions, which you won't, because this is a fantastic beta and your ultrasound is exactly when you wanted it!" That's totally what it's going to say. Right?

Update: Beta #2 is in and it's 3449. To say I am relieved would not even come close to covering it. I had promised myself I wouldn't worry anymore (ha!) if my beta was over 2000. At nearly twice that, I might actually be able to make good on that promise. ;-) Ultrasound is scheduled for next Monday afternoon with a doc talk to follow. I need a pinch to be sure, but I think this might actually be happening!

10 comments:

Mrs. Bluemont said...

Writing it out is good hun. I'm sending lots of juju your way, but have no doubt you'll get that gleaming call. xo

giggleblue said...

right! please try not to worry!

veeandjay said...

Yes, that's totally what they're going to say. But I'm on tenterhooks with you. I wish they're hurry up and call already!
Vee

Travelher and Pufferfish said...

Haha! I love reading your rambling train of thought because that's totally what I'd be doing--writing it out! It helps! I hope they call soon.

this said...

OH YAY! Thanks for the update! I left your blog up today and had been hitting "refresh" every now and then, hoping to see an update. Congrats on your wonderful numbers! Hope you have a fabulous and relaxing evening!

bleu said...

Yay Yay Yay I left your blog up too. I hadn't commented because there was just not much to say, it is scary as hell when waiting for that number to come in.
AWESOME number hun, this definitely looks to really really be happening.

giggleblue said...

that number is fabulous!!!

see, i told you not to worry!!

Meegs said...

Yay! What a beautiful number!!

mulberry said...

woo hoo! lovin' those numbers!!

Lizzie said...

Yay! Yay! Yay! for that updated beta. I've been out and really slowly catching up on blogs. Yay for yours!! xo