Tuesday, April 22, 2008

Dear AF,

I'll admit that I haven't always been the best niece. I have cursed your arrival many times over the last 18 months (nay, the last 16 years) and I'll confess to having said some less-than-friendly things behind your back. That said, I think I've been fairly hospitable on your last visit or two, and even looked forward a bit to your arrival. I believe we've turned over a new leaf in our relationship, you and I. So, it is with great displeasure that I note your tardiness on this 22nd day of April. I was expecting you yesterday and you did not arrive. Fine. Everyone runs a day or so late from time to time. But seriously, this is getting ridiculous. We need to work together on this. The welcome mat is out, the champagne has been corked, there are mints on the pillow in the guest room... what are you waiting for, a letterpressed invitation?

Please come soon. Or call. Or something.

With vigilance and impatience,


Anonymous said...

That old trout. She must know something important is going down, but that you can't start without her.

NotesFrom2Moms said...

great letter maybe it will knock some sense into her. i wrote a letter to my ovaries once and it worked...