Monday, October 24, 2011

Talk me down? Please?

First order of business: I apologize in advance for being an annoying, paranoid pregnant lady. You'd think I've never done this before or something. I'd show you my google history from the weekend but then I'd have to kill you. It's that embarassing. But, I'm still here, about to ask for your reassurance and success stories, so... yeah. Sorry.

I have continued to be sicksicksick since the ultrasound. The sick and the shock are the two main reasons I haven't posted since. I haven't known what to say, nor have I had the energy to peel myself off the couch long enough to say it.

Serious TMI alert on this whole paragraph: I became pretty constipated late last week and over the weekend. In the early hours of Saturday morning, I woke up with what felt like contractions - long, sustained cramping in the area of my uterus. Of course, I became completely freaked out. How can two tiny, fragile embryos possibly withstand that much pressure? I poked around online and decided that the pains were probably from gas and constipation. I remained constipated and continued to have a lot of discomfort and bloating through the weekend. Then last night, my intestinal system did a 180 and the constipation gave way to diarrhea. The bad kind. The kind with cramps and tears and the feeling that everything you've eaten in your whole entire life has just been purged from your body. The kind where you think that - surely - anything else in that area, two tiny embryos for example, must have been expelled as well.

This morning, I feel better, and I'm scared half to death over it. My stomach is still queasy, but honestly, it feels more like a nervous stomach than anything else. The bloated, crampy feeling in my pelvic region that I've had since before my BFP is completely gone, which makes sense given the great purge, but is also completely terrifying. I dont have the Must.Eat.Now feeling anymore - haven't been very hungry at all since last night. Most concerning of all, I just have a bad gut feeling. I can't explain it. I just feel like something's wrong. I'm contemplating calling the nurse but I know what she's going to say - hang in there, symptoms come and go, we'll see how things look at your next u/s on 10/31. How am I going to make it through the next week?!

If anyone has stories of fetuses hanging on through episodes of severe abdominal/intestinal distress, please share them. Ditto any stories of all being fine when your gut told you otherwise. I'm beside myself with worry, and I know THAT is as bad for the fetuses as anything else, but I'm having a hard time shaking it.

Sorry again for being so neurotic.

Update: The Sick is back. I haven't taken any Zofran today partly out of fear over what it might do to my fragile intestines and partly in hopes I would start feeling sick again to put my mind at ease. Well, the latter goal has been accomplished, which is both good (obviously) and bad (obviously). :-) Thank you so, so much for all of your comments. I honestly don't know how people get through any of this without a community like this one to turn to. You all rock.


Anonymous said...

I had a pretty decent bout with the stomach flu early on in my pregnancy, and I thought for sure there was no way my two could be ok. It's so so so scary, but embryos and fetuses hang on through MUCH worse. You'll be ok. And soon you'll be far enough along to get a doppler and it will save your sanity (as it did mine).


Stacey said...

I always got that "something must be wrong because I don't feel pregnant" worry during my pregnancies and both were absolutely fine.

Constipation is awful during pregnancy and I'm sure some of your discomfort was related to that. You would have noticed had you done something to the embryos because it wouldn't come out in your poop. I'm sure they're fine. They are so small and unrelated to your intestines that any kind of pooping wouldn't knock them out of there.

Besides, I know of many women who tried doing the whole castor oil to upset the tummy and start contractions at the end of pregnancy and it didn't work. Severe upset tummy at the end of pregnancy doesn't knock out big, term babies so why would it knock out two healthy wee ones in your womb?

That's my hopefully calming words. I know it's rough but your body will change as it adapts to the levels and you'll get that scare time and time again that you don't feel as sick as the day before. You know this but I'm just saying this to reassure you. Hang in there.

anofferingoflove said...

my advice is to call your ob, but not for a quicker appointment (because those babies are FINE) but for a new prescription. zofran is the devil and there are better anti-nausea meds that will not bind you up. after about a week on it, i was SO constipated i was *sure* i had, er, "expelled" the pregnancy i was carrying too. [i hadn't, so mark me down in the column of a pregnancy surviving severe abdominal distress & SEVERE puking]

after that "episode," i decided the zofran wasn't worth it, i'd rather puke. luckily, my doc prescribed a different drug (that i cannot for the life of me remember the name of right now) and it stopped the puking without having such a disastrous effect on my digestive system. don't suffer, there are better alternatives!

Anonymous said...

Phenergan is my nausea drug of choice (promethazine). It makes me sleepy, but it works.

Anonymous said...

OH, and if you can get your hands on some crystallized ginger (trader joes or whole foods maybe?). <3

Emily said...

No real experience with pregnancy yet but praying you feel better and sending calming vibes your way. Hugz!

tbean said...

Seems like every time you write, you take me down memory lane. Read this:
and then read this:

Hang in there mama. Those babies are just fine. But I remember how fucking scary it is when you stop feeling like total shit for 5 minutes. I don't miss those early, scary days...not at all.


Inlocoparentis said...

Well, I definitely had really bad constipation in early pregnancy. So bad, in fact, that I convinced myself around 9 weeks that the second embryo we transferred had implanted in a tube and I was having an ectopic pregnancy and the tube was rupturing. It was really, really terrible and painful. So it makes sense that you are feeling at least a little better after the purge. I also had bad 'gut' feeling for pretty much my entire pregnancy. It's just worry and not to be trusted - hang in there, buddy.

Anonymous said...

I had one of the most TERRIBLE bouts of constipation that was incredibly painful and ended in an emptying out not unlike what you mentioned (although I believe mine was spurred on by a giant glass of prune juice). I was in my first trimester, and I was TERRIFIED. I had the worst pain from the bloating and gas. It was awful. I remember feeling oddly well the next day, and there were plenty of days when all symptoms mysteriously disappeared only to reappear with a vengence the next day. Hang in there! It's so hard during the first trimester, and it sounds like everything you're going through is so normal.

On a side note, to combat the digestive issues, you might try taking probiotics regularly. They help immensely. :)

Two Mamas said...

Hello, I am 30 weeks pregnant with kiddo #3. DP carried #1 and I carried 2 and 3. The constipation is bad! Especially, the first trimester. I suggest adding a fiber cereal to your diet, eat apples and drink TONS of water. That helps...but still...eek.

I'm afraid that until you have the baby in your arms you're always going to think something is wrong. Perhaps it's that we want these little beings so badly and we're just scared of losing them.

Best wishes and good luck!