Wednesday, March 28, 2007

A trilogy of good omens

I had three very good signs this morning:

1) M and I woke up together at the crack of dawn to take our dog to the vet. M rolled over and said, "Can you clarify something for me? Did you wake up earlier and tell me you were pregnant?" I confirmed that this did not actually happen, and also let her know it was definitely too early for me to have news like that. She proceeded to explain that she thought it was too early, but that it had happened in what was apparently a dream, but it was so vivid she couldn't distinguish it from reality. Even after several reassurances on my part that it was, in fact, a dream, she still had a touch of disbelief.

2) Just before lunch today, my boss (who is aware of our TTC journey) called me into her office. She had ooohed and aaahed like crazy over my haircut on Monday, and she said that she'd been thinking about it since then and while the haircut is cute and all, that wasn't it - there was something more. She said it hit her last night: She thinks I'm pregnant. I told her I hoped she was right and agreed to keep her posted.

3) I left my boss's office and went over to the table where we all eat lunch. My co-worker who is also TTC was sitting there and I asked her how she was (today was her day to test). She said not good, which meant BFN, and I told her how sorry I was. Then she said, "You know what though? I feel really differently about this cycle for you. I really think this is going to be the one. I don't know why, I just have this feeling." We always encourage each other - of course - but we also both appreciate the danger of building false hopes, so I know she wouldn't just say something like that to be nice. It was very different than the type of encouragement we usually give each other.

So, I'm really hoping there is something to all that. I'm trying desperately to keep my optimism in check, but I'm feeling really positive. I think if it was test day now and it was a BFN, I'd be okay, but I have at least another week to get through, during which I expect the hopes to just get higher and higher and higher, despite any and all efforts on my part.

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