a special anniversary

Thank you so much for your thoughtful comments on my last post. I am consistently humbled by the insight and support this community has to offer. I agree that writing the birth story is an important part of healing from it. Just writing out my feelings in that last post helped a bit, I think, and then to have the honor of sharing my thoughts with this circle of wise women... I'm just very lucky to have this space, so thank you.

My egg retrieval was exactly one year ago. A year ago today, I walked (very slowly) into the clinic and had twenty-one eggs retrieved. I was so full of fear and hope I could hardly breathe. A year ago today, the cells that would go on to become Elliot's ears and nose and toes met for the first time. Sometimes it feels like the past year has been a long one, but when I look at the human being that was created during that time, it seems impossibly short for so much to have taken place.

I drive past the clinic every day on my way to and from work (and now daycare - what a difference a year makes) and I always look at the cars parked in the section of the parking lot that is reserved for infertility patients, silently wishing them the outcomes they are working so hard for. This morning, I sent them wishes of healthy March babies with sparkly eyes and big smiles.