checking in

Please bear with the bullets. My brain is a little mushy from lack of sleep and I'm still learning to type one-handed.

My thoughts on the last couple of weeks:

• breastfeeding: Holy crap, this is challenging. I know it didn't help that we started out with a sick baby and a special care nursery full of medical professionals hovering and pushing formula, but I can see why people throw in the towel. E and I are both learning quickly, but I think we'll need to seek out some tech support for his latch. If his growth is any indication, he's getting plenty to eat. So what if my nipples feel like they are on fire 24/7, right?
• can't live without 'em items: B.oppy, itzb.een timer and LOTS of receiving blankets. I knew these things were invaluable after our first few hours home and the days that have followed have only reinforced my initial assessment.
• newborn clothes: Not actually made to fit newborns, it seems. My infant is not particularly small (75th percentile and up on all measures) and the only clothing he doesn't swim in are the couple of preemie things I bought to have on hand "just in case." We had to go out last weekend to buy more teeny onesies and sleepers to get us through these early days. We're already doing laundry several times a day and we couldn't keep up without getting a few more things into the rotation.
• cloth diapers: Like the clothes, he just swims in the beautiful cloth diapers we have washed and waiting in his changing table. We could get some smaller ones but you can't just buy one or two. We'd need enough for a full couple of days for it to be worthwhile and it just doesn't make sense to buy that many when he'll most likely fit into what we already have in a week or so. So, it's disposables until then, despite the anguish this causes M who can't wait to stop assaulting the environment.
• our son, the transformer: If I hadn't watched the changes take place before my very eyes, I'd have sworn they sent me home with the wrong baby. Elliot looks different to me every single day. His little features are changing so dramatically. He hardly resembles the baby they handed me two weeks ago.
• c-section recovery: In a word, ouch. I know it's major surgery, but I'm discouraged by how much discomfort I am still experiencing. I ran out of the Good Pain Meds a few days ago and it didn't take long to see how Good they really were.
• sleep: Oh god how I miss sleep.
• the birth story: I'm not ready to write it just yet, but I'm getting there. It was hard and scary and I have some more of my own processing to do before documenting it.

I've been sick for the last few days - not sure if it is c-section related or just a bug - but it is a total drag. Luckily for me, Elliot is about a easy a baby as I've ever met. I don't know what I'd do if he was high needs. It's been taking every ounce of my limited stamina to keep the kid fed and in clothes that aren't soaked with spit-up. (Did I mention we're having a spit-up problem? We're having a spit-up problem. Poor kid regurgitates an alarming percentage of each meal. He also has hardcore, body-shaking hiccups several times a day. His pediatrician says not to worry about these things as long as he continues to gain weight, but my heart breaks for him. It can't be comfy and he's already gone through so much.) Anyway, I have an appointment with my OB today and I'm hoping she can help me figure out what's up so I can be on the road to recovery.

I'm horribly behind on blog reading/commenting - my apologies. Once we have some semblance of a baby routine around here, the normal life stuff can get added back in... I hope! :-)