1. I am feeling a lot better. Thank you all so much for your support. It makes such a difference to have people out there that get it and can remind me I'm not crazy when I need that most.
2. I struck out this morning with my PCP. She refused to run the CF screen and said that she always refers out to a genetic counselor for things like that. M and I talked briefly after my appointment and on one hand, I feel like it's irresponsible not to do the screening when we're spending so much money to get pregnant, but on the other hand, why am I so preoccupied with CF? Neither KD or I have any history of it in our families and there are probably a hundred other equally devastating diseases I could be pre-screened for, but I'm not sweating those. CF is just the one the doctor recommended, and I now want it on principle because of the insurance mess, but really, this might be something worth letting go of. You can't fight all the battles all the time, and I am pretty darn fatigued.
3. I have made peace with the reality that we may not get on the clinic's schedule for this cycle. We're still hoping to be able to pay the clinic this week, but that's leaves us just over one more week until Lupron would need to begin, and it may just be too short of notice. I'm okay with it. Of course I'm anxious to start sooner than later, but if I'm totally honest with myself, next cycle would probably be better from a timing perspective. If we start this cycle, my ER/ET is likely to fall right on top of M's graduation and all 4 parents will be staying with us - not much of a low-stress environment! I can see the pros to both outcomes - starting right away v. waiting one more cycle - so whatever happens will be okay.
4. Orientation is on Thursday. I can not wait to have that final checkpoint behind us.
Thanks again for all of the kind comments and encouragement. What did people do before they had the internet to turn to during these types of things?!