Monday, April 9, 2012

31 weeks and change

There's a lot going on around here, most of it very good.

I am still working full-time, but considering starting some sort of part-time/phase-out plan over the next couple of weeks... and then second-guessing that decision. I haven't talked with my boss yet about the possibility of extending my (unpaid) 12 weeks of job protection, but employees have asked to do so in the past and been denied, so I can't see how they could make an exception for me without getting into a very sticky situation. I work for a small non-profit where gossip and drama are the social currency. That means that any time I take before the babies are born is less time I'll have with them after they arrive. (Work = Post For Another Day. Nutshell version is that I'm not sure what the long-term plan is, but I HAVE to go back for a few weeks after they're born or I will owe my employer a ton of money which would pose a serious hardship financially.) ANYWAY, I feel okay most days, as long as we understand "okay" in the context of measuring 40+ weeks pregnant and having the associated swollen feet and ankles, shortness of breath, sleepless nights, heartburn, exhaustion, etc. Holy moly, twin pregnancy is tough - tougher than I can capture here, in many ways. I've been waiting for "the wall" so many talk about hitting during their twin pregnancy, and I'm pretty sure I reached it myself right around 30 weeks. I'm able to push through the weekdays, but I crash hard on the weekends. The fact that I'm physically making it to Friday makes me think I should keep working, but then I consider how exhausted I am on Saturday and Sunday and wonder if I'm inflicting more toll on my body during the week than I should be. I dunno, going to just keep taking it one day at a time for now.

That said, I'll tell you the same thing I tell everyone who asks how I'm doing - it's hard to feel anything other than supremely lucky that I'm still up and around and doing as much as I am at just shy of 32 weeks, and that the babies seem to be doing so well, too. Of course I'm achy and tired and, let's just be honest, totally useless around the house (poor M) but I'm not on bedrest and all signs point to this pregnancy continuing for a while longer, knock on wood. I had both an MFM growth scan and an OB appointment a week ago today and got glowing reports all around. The babies weights were estimated at 3lbs, 6oz (Crash) and 3lbs, 12oz (Bash) which were roughly 40th and 50th percentile for singletons. That's an improvement over their last scan where they were more like 25th and 50th. Crash is still head-down and Bash is transverse now rather than breech, but his position (compared to the previous ultrasound) indicates he may be in the process of turning head-down as well. The tech said they and I both looked great and congratulated us on our progress so far. Then I went to see my regular OB who was thrilled with the babies' sizes and my overall condition. My blood pressure was 110/60 and my urine was negative for protein. I told her I'd been having a lot of  BH contractions so she did a cervical check and found that my cervix is softening, but not dilated or effaced at all, so hooray! I know - lucky, lucky, lucky - but I promise I'm not taking one bit of it for granted.

I've been seeing a chiropractor weekly since I hit 22 weeks and will be stepping it up to twice a week starting tomorrow. She moved her office last weekend so she's now a 30+ minute drive for me rather than the 10 she used to be, and she doesn't have the right type of table in her new office to accommodate my full-term belly, which is a huge PITA (and other body parts), but I'm not giving up on her yet because I truly believe her care may be the single greatest contributor to how well I'm holding up. My first appointment in the new location was Friday night and she and I were both startled and disappointed to discover just how ineffective the new set-up is for me, so I'm hoping she'll have some new ideas when I go in tomorrow. We are so close. Just gotta limp across the finish line somehow!!

The other highlight of the past couple of weeks was the wonderful family shower In Loco Parentis threw for us last weekend. She and her partner went all out, and it was so fun to get together with friends and share our excitement over the babes' impending arrival. When she approached me with the shower idea a couple of months ago, I was a little pinchy and anxious about it because it seems the etiquette guidelines are murky on "second showers" and I didn't want people to think we were being greedy. She assured me she felt twin pregnancies were granted a pardon on any second shower taboos (a sentiment many other friends and family members have echoed since) but that she'd still keep it less "shower" and more "laid-back, kid-friendly party to celebrate our expanding family and E's new role as a big brother." (OK, maybe not those exact words, but you get the gist.) She made good on her sales pitch, and it was absolutely perfect: Great food, great friends, great conversation, and tons of toys and games to make every kid there feel like they'd died and gone to heaven. We had two showers with E but they were both surprises, so it was a special treat to have this one to look forward to. Once again, how lucky am I?!

Tonight, M and I are meeting with our endlessly-quirky lawyer to start the ball rolling on the twins' adoption. We won't be able to finalize until they are 6 months old, but we're hoping that by getting all of our ducks in a row now, we'll have no trouble getting a court date between them coming of age (ha ha) and the end of 2012. We wouldn't be in such a hurry except that we've heard the adoption tax credit is likely to go waaay down in 2013 (don't get me started) and we already pay the gay tax, giving Uncle Sam a grossly unjust share of our income, so would prefer not to give him any more than we have to. We can't wait to find out how much it will cost us for twins, compared to what we paid for E. On one hand: Double the kids, double the fees? (gulp) On the other hand: It's still only one series of meetings with us, one set of court documents, one hearing, etc. In my initial email to the lawyer, I asked her what to expect in terms of expenses but the answer was conspicuously absent from her reply. Hmmm... Will report back.

I think that's all the news that's fit to print. I will, of course, post ASAP if anything exciting happens around here (please, please don't let anything exciting happen around here for at least 4-5 more weeks) and I still have my twin questions in the queue as well. :-)


jessie said...

I'm so glad that the babies are doing well and that you're still getting around but you really must be beat! Growing two babies is HARD work! The shower sounds great! Rest when you can!

tbean said...

You are rocking this twin pregnancy. It is just awesome to watch. I mean, at this point, you are only 8 days away from when the turtles were born. Crazy, right?

I hit my wall right around 28 weeks. It was at that point that everything was so uncomfortable and difficult that each day ended in tears. And I wasn't working (or walking around even). If you can keep working, go for it. Is there any way you can scale back without it being "official" time off? Sort of cheating around the corners a bit but still technically being full time?

As for the lawyer stuff, with a couple hundred bucks exception for some detail that I don't remember now, our adoption fee was the same for both turtles that it would have been for singleton. It was a sweet little "twin break" since so much of what you spend money on is double (car seats, diapers, cribs, etc etc etc)

Can't wait for Crash and Bash's 7 weeks or so!

Inlocoparentis said...

Yay! I love that everything is going so well. As for that crackpot lawyer of ours, please tell her that she can apply the $50 she failed to pay when she requested C's new birth certificate towards your bill and to stop emailing me asking to 'audit' our fees to see where the overage came from. Pay for the adoption, stay for the show.

Inlocoparentis said...

PS: if she tries to charge you twice, I will do the hearing myself. Even though I know nothing about the subject area, the Judge might be excited to have a lawyer in her courtroom who is neither: a) wearing sunglasses and a Disney visor nor b) sporting a mullet.

Strawberry said...

Very glad to read such good news! You're a rock star and cookin' up a couple of plump, healthy babies.

anofferingoflove said...

holy moley, 31 weeks already!? wow!

im impressed youre still working FT too, my wife had been on bedrest for 5 weeks already at that point! you are superwoman!

inloco's comments about your attorney cracked me up - she sounds like quite the character!!

tireegal68 said...

Well I thought the comments about the lawyer were hilarious!!!! By the way, you should get a discount for repeat business. Ours charges about $200 less for that. I know! Can't wait to have a second child so I can save myself $200!!
I hear you on paying Uncle Sam too much!!!
He owes us big!
So glad the twins and you are doing relatively well

tireegal68 said...

Sorry my phone sucks.
Considering all the extra exhaustion etc glad you're surviving work!
It sounds a little bitchy at your work - cant wait to read that post!
Good luck and I hope you get to wind down a bit. Could you work from home a day a week or so?

Emily said...

So glad everything is going well! I can't believe you are still working. That belly must get in the way. Your shower sounds awesome!