Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Fare thee well, 1/12/10

And don't let the door hit you on the way out!

Today was what you might call a Really Lousy Day.

First, I got news of some financial woes at work. No layoffs yet, but they are offering employees the "opportunity" to reduce their work hours... with a corresponding salary decrease. I'd like to say I'd jump at the chance to spend more time home with E, but there is no way we could afford to shave anything off my income. Hopefully this won't progress from "opportunity" to mandate.

Over lunch, I had an aggravating conversation with a co-worker (and new mom) that went something like this:
CW: I read that you can't lose the last 10 pounds of baby weight until you stop breastfeeding.
K: Hmm, that's exactly the opposite of what I experienced. I'm pretty sure I've gained at least 10 pounds since I stopped breastfeeding.
CW: Yeah, your body maintains a fat reserve in case you can't eat for a couple of days or something - that way it can continue to produce milk. Isn't that weird?
K: Very weird, and like I said, it really doesn't fit with what I experienced. That certainly didn't happen for me when I stopped.
CW: You aren't breastfeeding anymore? (Guess I only imagined that I said that a minute earlier.)
K: Nope.
CW: Wow. That really surprises me.
K: Well, it surprises me too, but I didn't have much choice.
CW: Did you just decide to stop?
K: Nope, my body pretty much decided for me.
CW: Huh?
K: Yup, I just stopped producing milk. I didn't want to quit, but...
CW: Hmm, well I'm only going to breastfeed until 6 months anyway, because I really hate pumping and the whole thing is kind of a hassle, and...
When I returned to my desk I told another co-worker (a good friend who overheard the whole exchange) that my day wouldn't be complete without this woman finding a wound to throw some salt into. She's one of those people who is really kind at heart, but she says the most insensitive things without realizing it. I could share a few gems that would blow your mind, but that would turn into a whole other post. I guess I should take her surprise as a compliment - like, that I'm "the kind of person" who would be an extended breastfeeder - but really, it just reminded me that I wasn't able to do something I really wanted to do. Not a big deal, but enough to provide a little sting.

This afternoon, I got news of a good friend in the hospital and I'm really very worried about her. She just had a baby and on top of my concern about her health, I'm heartsick at the thought of her missing her son's first few days at home.

This evening, I found out some distressing news about my grandmother's estate and the distribution of her assets. I worry about the damage this is doing to relationships among my surviving family members. As I told my mom on the phone tonight, the only thing that is good about all of this is that once it is done, we'll never have to do it again. Hopefully we'll all make it through semi-intact.

And the cherry on top came in the form of some news from my mom about her health, and I'm going to leave it at that because this whole thing is just Way Too Scary for me to blog (or even think) about right now.

The bottom line is, it's been a long, emotionally exhausting day and I'm ready for it to be behind me. Here's to tomorrow bringing brighter skies.


Two Moms, Two Monkeys said...

A tough day indeed. I try not to talk about my breastfeeding situation at work because I know there are people on both sides of the fence (those who want to do it but can't and those who can do it but dont want to) and while yes it is a pain, and not my favorite part of the day, I don't know how long I will be able to sustain and am therefore just thankful to have made it as long as we have.

A very good friend of mine was not able to breastfeed at all (her milk never came in)and was really devastated by this, so its made me more aware and sensitive in discussing the issue at all. It sounds like your co-worker doesn't value the act of breastfeeding and takes forgranted the fact that she is even able to do so. Sorry you have to be on the other end of her insensitivity.

I hope that everything turns out well for your friend who just had a baby and for your mom and her health. Life can be scary sometimes, and it tends to all come at you at once, try to not get overwhelmed and focus on the positives. You are a strong woman and a great mama...as they say, this too shall pass. Wishing you a very sunny Wednesday!

N said...

♥ Here's to a new and better day.

tireegal68 said...

Oh wow, that is a day that deserves to be filed away in the attic, never to be recalled. Yeuch. Sending hope for many wounds and ills to be healed and for thoughtless tongues to be tied. As for work - aren't you the boss lady? I would think thst would make you indispensible. Thinking of you :)

Trinity said...

Yes, what an utterly deflating day. So sorry to hear about your mom, too. Here's hoping that 1/13 treats you more kindly...

nutella said...

May today be better.

Luisa said...

wow that is waaaaay too much for one day. I hope your mum is ok.

tireegal68 said...

just popping in to say hope you are doing okay and that your mom is too. thinking of you:)