Tuesday, June 26, 2007

in limbo

I'm alternating between feeling really optimistic and being convinced it didn't work this time. I'm not testing for a few more days, but I'm getting there. My coworker and TTC cohort had a positive pregnancy test this morning for the second day in a row, and this morning's was a little darker than yesterday's so hormones levels seem to be moving in the right direction. She had a very early miscarriage on the last cycle she tried, so I'm so happy and excited for her, but I'd be lying if I said it was 100% easy to hear her news. This has been a challenging cycle for me because of how sick I've been from the meds and how overwhelming our lives have been over the last few weeks. It would just be really nice to have an outcome that would make all the pain and stress of the past month or so seem worth it. I can't say I'm not a little jealous of hers. Hopefully I'll have a matching positive of my own in a few days.

I'm more optimistic than not, but trying to prepare myself for a disappointment as well. Fortunately the next few days are busy so hopefully they will pass quickly.

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