I'm alive

Thank you to dreams for the reminder that there is a whole world out there and that a handful of them might be thinking of me as I sleep my life away. As cheesy as this sounds, it's really heartwarming to know people are looking out for me.

All is well, as far as I know. Of course I'm still terrified something has gone wrong and my body doesn't know it and my OB will inform me of my missed miscarriage at my next appointment, but the worry seems to have receded a bit over the last few days (knock on wood). My belly continues to grow and I'm symptomatic as ever. My next appointment is coming up quickly (9/22) and I'm looking forward to another listen (or glimpse?) of that little heartbeat.

In loco parentis is here for a quick visit and she kept me up until 1am last night - no small feat, these days! I wish neither of us had personal experiences to contribute to a conversation about fertility and pregnancy struggles, but on the flip side, we've had some great talks about the insights our journeys have brought us and how both of us "getting it" has strengthened a friendship between us that was pretty darn good to start out with. I wish she could stay longer, but alas, she has a plane to catch and I just heard the suitcase zip up.

I'm really, really going to try not to be so flaky. Really. And if I disappear again, feel free to call me out on it. I know how scary it is when one of us becomes silent for a while. I will definitely post if anything awful happens - or really anything significant at all - so if you don't hear from me, it's fairly safe to assume I'm just sleeping. Again. Probably for like 12 hours at a time.