the view from week 15

OK, I'm going to go out on a limb and say it... (drumroll please)

I think I'm starting to feel better! The last time I was so bold as to proclaim that to someone, I was rewarded with another week of yuckiness, but I've had several good days in a row this week so I'm taking the risk.

Interestingly, my crippling fatigue seems to be have been replaced with... insomnia. How's that for weird? I'm already to the point where I can't find a comfortable position in bed (awesome, considering I've got nearly 6 months of growing to go) so it takes me a long time to fall asleep. Then, when I get up to pee a couple of hours later, it takes me another hour to get BACK to sleep. Rinse. Repeat. Some nights I only have to pee once, and those nights rock. The double-bathroom-trip nights (read: two rounds of coaxing myself back to sleep) are starting to get on my nerves. Amazingly, I'm not as tired from this lack of sleep as I'd expect. When I was an obnoxious teenager, I told my mom I could never have kids because I like sleeping too much. I'd never be able to put up with the sleep deprivation. I meant it, too. I seriously did not think I was cut out for it. But now I see that your body truly adapts to not need as much sleep. If you'd told me (even a year ago) how much sleep I'd get over this past week, I'd have predicted I'd be in a coma, but actually, I'm surprisingly functional if I do say so myself. I mean, I'm not at the top of my game by any means, but I've been relatively alert, dressed, working and not biting anyone's head off. I know having a newborn will still push us both to the limits and then some, but I recognize and appreciate the steps my body is already taking to prepare me.

I continue to be enormous for my stage of pregnancy - always the overachiever. I have a doctor's appointment on Monday so we'll see if she mistakes me for a third trimester patient. It could happen. I'm only 5 pounds over my pre-IVF weight, which is right on track according to those weekly emails I get, but I think every last ounce went straight to my belly. I might post a picture one of these days, but every time I see anyone else's belly pics, I lose my nerve. I seem to be double, no triple the size of most 15-16 week pregnant women. I wonder if this baby is going to be 15 pounds when it's born.

I think we're going to do Hyp.nobirthing. I've been leaning toward it for a while and I finally bought the book. I want M to read it too to make sure she's on board, but from my obsessive and neurotic research, it seems to resonate most strongly for me, and to yield the highest success rates for natural births. I found a few instructors in my area but then heard from a friend of a friend who only read the book and used the CD and had one of those freakishly perfect birth experiences, so maybe the classes aren't necessary. I dunno. I have a feeling we're going to need all the help we can get since this kid is (apparently) going to be so ginormous.

We're working on names. We have a short list for a boy that we're both happy with but we're positively lost on girl names. We have a list of names that neither of us love but they're the best we've come up with. That is one thing about not finding out the sex - we have to do double-duty on name generation. Oh well, at least we have lots of time left. Looks like we may need it!