Wednesday, May 21, 2008

my induction to the pincushion posse

Back from my break and I already broke our first date! Sorry I did not return with the injection report last night. M and I got home later than expected and then we had to watch the travesty that was the American Idol final performance show. What a joke. Anywho, injection numero uno is complete so three cheers for that. Before I go into details, 2 quick stories:

The night before last (Lupron day minus one), M and went out for Chinese. We received two fortunes that bode well. Mine was "An exciting opportunity lies ahead of you." M's (my fave) was "Big journeys begin with a single needle." OK fine, the last word was actually "step" but it needed a little editing. I think it has a nice flow now.

Also worth noting, a client asked if I was pregnant yesterday. It was sort of funny (in that horrifying "seriously??" kind of way). We'd been chatting (seated) for a few minutes and we both stood up for him to leave. Here's how it went down:

Him: Whoa! Are you pregnant?
Me: Um, nope.
Him: Hmm, (staring at my stomach trying to determine if I'm pulling his leg, then, skeptically) O-kaaay.
Me: (thinking) Aww, he's probably embarassed. I'll try to help him save face. (Then, out loud) Ha ha, yeah, this shirt does poof out a bit over my stomach, doesn't it? It's a funny style. Ha ha!
Him: (not embarassed, apparently) No, I just looked down when you stood up and I was like 'Damn, she must be pregnant!' I just about fell over!
Me: Ha ha (weaker this time), yeah, I guess I have gained a little weight.

He then left my office, still chuckling and commenting to himself the whole way out, and I went straight to Weight Watchers after work.

In his defense, I have one of those unfortunate body types where any weight gain is entirely concentrated in my stomach. I can't really blame him. I'd pass for well into my 2nd trimester if I let it all hang out. I have been doing some serious stress eating lately and I'm currently chilling about 2 donuts away from my highest weight ever. It was also one of those shirts that looks maternity-ish. You know the ones that are all trendy now, with the empire seams and the loose, flowing fabric. (However, in MY defense, I bought the damn thing at the Gap less than a month ago. It's the style! Give me a break!)

Some of my clients have mental health issues. This client does not. The bizarre coincidence of him asking this question on the day that we start our IVF meds is not lost on me, nor is the likelihood that an equally awkward conversation will take place if our cycle ends up being successful:

Me: Hey there client, I'm pregnant!
Him: (triumphantly) I KNEW you were pregnant when I saw you in your office that day!
Me: Yeah, no. Wasn't pregnant yet then. Just fat.

Who asks that anyway? I wouldn't ask a woman about her pregnancy status if she looked like she was 5 minutes from delivering. But then, I wouldn't ask a pregnant woman 95% of the questions they apparently get asked. I have no personal experience with this, having never been pregnant myself, but I'm hoping to be eligible for inappropriate comments, questions and belly rubs in the very near future.

Which brings us to... Lupron injection #1. Well, that was fun! Especially the part where it took me several attempts to even get any liquid in the darn syringe because I wasn't holding the vial at the right angle. Or there was the part where I flicked the syringe so hard (trying to knock the bubbles to the top) that the whole kit and caboodle went flying out of my hands. You want to see bubbles? You should see a syringe after it (and the attached vial) bounce across the tile floor in my bathroom. Shaky hands notwithstanding, I managed to inject myself and it was not the easy, non-event I remembered from injection training. Let's just say I've got lots of room for improvement.... and fortunately I've got another 30-something subq injections to practice with! :-) I've already got it all planned out! It's going to rock. First, I'm going to try not to throw the whole thing on the floor while preparing the injection. That ought to help me keep a straight, pristine needle. Second, I'm going to start switching needles between drawing up the liquid and injecting it as I was instructed to do in training. I opted not to do so last night because the pharmacy only sent one syringe per dose. After my experiences with a dull needle last night (ouch!), I'm heading for my closest online retailer to order some extra syringes.

I had a brief moment of disbelief and rage that this is actually my life last night, but other than that (and truly, it lasted for 20 minutes at most), I'm feeling really good. I'm optimistic, but not overly so. I feel like I have a great support network and that I myself am stronger than I ever realized. M and I are ready to tackle this together, and I hope hope hope that it will bring us to the end of (this stage of) our journey.


bleu said...

Congrats and welcome to the belly shots club hun. Remember that when you start to press the needle in if it hurts when you first start to prick move a tiny bit over. Nerve endings are very interesting and what hurts one place has zero feeling a quarter inch away.

Excited this has all finally begun for you.

The client was a dork,, you should work on his body image of women issues obviously.

I once asked a woman who looked 9 months pregnant when she was due only to have her not pregnant, NEVER AGAIN!

Inlocoparentis said...

I'll admit it - I have been anxiously awaiting the update on shot #1. I am impressed with your skills (and smooth recovery). And those shirts make everyone look pregnant - not to worry. If it makes you feel any better, I was complimented on my suit the other day by someone who proceeded to comment, "it must be hard to fit those hips!" Suffice it to say, I'm now back on JC. :)

Mrs. Bluemont said...

You sound *so good* darling! Ignore the mouthy client. You and your belly (that I'm sure mine could beat) are preparing the most spectacular womb ever. Kudos on getting the shot done! xo

veeandjay said...

Didn't someone famous once say you should never ask a woman if she's pregnant unless you can actually see the baby coming out? Good advice. Ignore the rude man - you're just practising for the real thing (that's what I keep telling myself anyway!)

Nice work on the jab - you now have a calamitous story to live up to for 30 more shots!