Saturday, December 29, 2007

I'm way overdue for an update

M's family was with us for the holidays and just left this morning. I, in the meantime, have largely neglected all of my online duties. So sorry.

I'm not pregnant. I'm sure that's no big shock. If I'd had good news, you better believe I'd have found a few minutes to shout it from the cyber-rafters. I'm halfway through this month's round of Clomid. No symptoms so far to speak of, but last time, they didn't hit me until the 2ww, so the fun is probably yet to come.

I had an ultrasound on Thursday morning. It was perfect. Of course. Perfectly healthy with absolutely nothing to fix. Damn it. I asked the doctor about the laparoscopy and she said (again) that she wanted to do two more Clomid cycles and then she would encourage IVF, but would consider a laparoscopy at the time if that's what I preferred. She also said that she would recommend IVF over laparoscopy because the IVF would likely be the treatment for anything the laparoscopy might find, so basically, if we're "to that point," why not just skip to the finish line. I'm not so sure. If they find Endometriosis in the lap, they can clear it out and it's possible I could get pregnant on my own after that. I'd really like to avoid IVF if possible (duh), and it's not just because of the $15,000 price tag that my insurance won't touch. At least I have two more cycles to think all that through and seek out a second opinion. I hate every single tiny part of this TTC garbage.

Interesting phone calls yesterday: So, the new RE won't use KD without the quarantine restrictions, right? That means that until mid-February (depending on how quickly we can get KD in for an infectious disease screen once the 6 months elapses), we need to stick with KFed. The RE was less than thrilled by our choice of banks and explained it would require some more administration on their part because they'd never worked with our bank before, but agreed to do it. My task was to call the bank and have their CLIA certificate and FDA registration faxed to the RE's lab for pre-approval. I called yesterday. I reminded the sperm bank lady what donor we were using and she notified me that we "might" have an availability problem for next week's IUI. They have some vials of his in storage, but aren't planning to screen him again until the end of January so the vials have to be held until then. She asked for our second choice. I told her I couldn't remember so we'd have to check the profiles again and get back to her. Blech. I hate daddy shopping. HATE. Then I asked her to fax the info to my RE. Turns out, they don't even HAVE a Clia certificate!! Here I am thinking this is the most straightforward part of the whole call and they don't have the damn certificate so the RE won't use them. The best part of this is that it is the afternoon of Friday, December 28th. The next day I'm likely to find people in their offices is Wednesday, January 2nd, and I may need to inseminate as early as the 4th. There is NO WAY IN HELL that we can set up an account with a new bank, choose a new donor, and have the vials shipped to arrive by the 4th. Not gonna happen. And please recall that I'm 3 pills into my Clomid, a drug I do not want to take for a month longer than I have to.

There are three choices as I see them: The first is that I fly out to KD's next weekend and we go back to doing things "the old-fashioned way." Not that way, the other old-fashioned way. You know, a business meeting? This is less than ideal seeing as I just put KD on a plane this morning and I already have a big trip planned for later this month. A second, less-preferable option is that I can just pick up a vial myself from the bank and do an ICI at home. One drawback to both of those routes is that ICI is less effective than IUI so it's a partial waste of the Clomid cycle, but at least we won't lose the cycle altogether. The third and best option (cue heavenly music here) would be for my NP to do the insemination. She'll do an IUI, she's cheaper, and she'll use KD's swimmers. I need to call the RE and ask her about this option and I hope she'll give it the thumbs up, but I'll do it anyway even if she doesn't. The worst she can do is refuse to count this cycle toward the two more I need before we go to the next step (since she didn't end up having control over all variables), but at least I won't miss the cycle. I also have to ask the NP if she's willing to do it, but I feel like she will be. After nearly a year of monthly meetings, I think she wants this for us just about as badly as we do.

Sooo, that's all the news that's fit to print. I'll do a better job of updating - should be easier now that the holiday chaos is going back into hibernation.


Femeros said...

Dagnabit! Bummer!

D and I were waiting to be seated at the Olive Garden tonight when I decided, "If I ever win the lottery I'm going to set up a fund that gives female couples grant money to pay for baby making." You'd be my first recipient. Nuff said!

Valancy said...

So sorry to hear about all the ups and downs. I hope you have the chance to get in to see a new RE. From my experience, doctors vary widely on what they are willing to do, and this one seems a little less "let's try everything" than I'd like to see for you. I have everything crossed that the Clomid will help and it will all be a moot point.

K said...

Thank you both for the continued support! It means a lot to know I have so many cheerleaders out there. I would be more than happy to break in your new fund for you. ;-) As far as the options the RE has presented, I agree they are more limited than I hoped, but the more I think about them, the more I can see why she went that route. When I first met with her, I told her she only had 4-5 months to get me pregnant before we were breaking to relocate. I also told her I was really tired of ttc and ready to do whatever it would take to get me pregnant. I still expected her to suggest trying at least injectibles, and I'm sure I could ask for that if I wanted to, but I'm actually warming up to the idea of IVF (and maybe one FET, if needed) in the spring. Our thinking is basically why walk right up to the door and then take a break for a year or more before crossing the threshold? It seems the fitting way to close our ttc journey in this part of the world, and it provides a clear breaking point. If it doesn't work, I think we'll be more likely to be ready for the emotional and financial ttc break that moving will impose. We'll be less likely to fall into the "let's just try one more time" trap that our current slippery slope protocol might encourage.

Ack, that was too long. Sorry! Thanks for giving me the space and the invitation to hash some things out though! Hope you both had a fantastic new year!